Successful people build each other up, they motivate, inspire and push each other. Unsuccessful people just hate, blame and complain.    Flowers only bloom when they are ready. People are the same way. You cannot rush or force them open, just because you think it's time. Be patient. - Timber Hawkeye    We can't solve problems by using the same kind of thinking we used when we created them. - Albert Einstein    Success is to be measured, not so much by the position that one has reached in life, as by the obstacles that one has overcome while trying to succeed. - Bookert T. Washington    Be solution driven. Treat the disease, not the symptoms by targeting the source of the problem or issue.    In the confrontation between the stream and the rock, the stream always wins... not through strength, but through persistence. - Buddha    Are you interested in changing, or are you committed to change?

The Law of Reflection

 

When you see yourself in a mirror or on a photograph you may not like what you see, you may claim the image/reflection is distorted, but you seldom insists that it is entirely someone else that you see. You may then rant about it or deny it. But the fact remains that what you see is reflecting something that you either accept or dislike.

When you look in a mirror or at a photograph and see that your eyes look heavy and tired, you do not try to change the reflection. You eat a healthier diet, exercise more and get enough sleep. Thus, taking care of the source to change the reflection in the end.

A change SWOT-analysis is fairly the same. Via assessment and/or observation you take a picture or look in a mirror. You may or may not like what you see. Based on that information, processed as quantitative (what) – qualitative (why) – cumulative (how often), you can change the source of the reflection, by following steps to either correct or enhance the circumstances. In this manner the real problem or issue is addressed that in the end will change the reflection.

Now the interesting side of the rule of reflection, once you encounter a situation, e.g. a person that you do not like, you can (quite a natural humanistic inclination) spend time, effort and energy to fix or change the person. Just keep in mind this could be a form of denying the real problem, because what you “see” or encounter is only a photo or reflection of the other person. When you try to change a person based on what you “see“, you are focusing on and attempting to fix the reflection or the symptom of the problem or issue.

The essence of the rule of reflection… once you understand it, it requires you to change yourself (attitude) in order to solve or correct certain “reflections” and never, ever try to change another person in order for you to feel more comfortable. Thus, when you observe a reflection that you do not like or are uncomfortable with, do not try and change people around you, rather focus on your own contribution, and the others (due to a change in your magnetic field) must eventually adapt to it or leave the situation (i.e. influence of the changed magnetic field).

The circumstances and people in your life that you do not like or feel uncomfortable with and it bothers you, quite often reflects some aspects that you should change. For example… When your boss/employee/spouse is hostile, look within yourself at your own anger that you might experience. When your colleague’s care free and irresponsible attitude irritates you, look within yourself whether you envy him/her or that you are so controlled and responsible that you forget how to love life. If you experience an attribute, which genuinely does not bother you, you will not even notice it.

When someone makes you feel inadequate or a failure, it is often that you (when you look within) are nursing feelings of inadequacy or feelings of being a failure. Solve the problem, not the feeling. Overcome your inadequacy and do not try to change the reflection, or the other person reflecting it.

 Identify and deal with the root cause of a problem or issue and not the symptom or reflection.